Erin Andrews is contemplating another drive toward the end zone.
Fifteen months after the sportscaster and husband Jarret Stoll welcomed son Mack with the help of a surrogate, "We're talking about trying it again," she revealed in an exclusive interview with E! News. "And I was really, really honest with my doctor a couple weeks ago. I just said, 'We've had so much high with the birth of Mack and how great he's doing that I don't want to go back to that place of failure again, and I'm really, really afraid of it.'"
While she's more familiar with the playbook at this point, having come out the other side of her traumatic 10-year fertility journey, she's anxious about tackling the process again.
"It's crazy, because once you get back on the phone with your fertility doctor and you start talking about the journey again, PTSD all comes back of how crappy you felt, how numb your body gets, just the fear of loss," the 46-year-old recounted of losing two embroyos before learning their surrogate was pregnant with their son. "So, it's a lot. It’s a loaded thing."
Fortunately, she knows she has a top-notch teammate.
"Sometimes men don't want to talk about this stuff, but they're also feeling the feels, too," she said of the former NHL centre, 42, she wed in 2017. "My husband was really, really great after we were going through more lows than highs, just being like, 'This sucks. This just isn't great. I feel really crappy, and I feel like a failure,' and that really helped a lot too."
Having tested the for-worse bit of their seven-year marriage, they've learned "that you have to be really honest with each other," said Andrews. "You have to give each other a break. You have to have patience. It's taxing on your financials as well, which also brings stress to your marriage. It's not cheap. It's awful. There's nothing about the infertility journey that I would say is great, except your end product. When you are able to have the baby and you're like, 'Wow, you were worth it.'"
And should they look to expand their team, she knows she'll be relying on her close friends and family—"Even though they didn't really know what I was going through, they knew how crappy it felt, and they were just really great, like, 'I'm sorry, welfare check,' and things like that"—and mind-clearing exercise.
"Honestly, it's a non-negotiable for me," the Calm Down podcast co-host said of trying to fit in daily sweat sessions. "It's just a super big release for me. I need it. Life is a grind. You don't have to be doing sideline reporting to feel that way. There's just too much going on."
So being able to take just a bit of time for herself, "I'm a much happier person when I can get a sweat in," she said, "and just concentrate on making sure physically, I'm better."
And while exercise has always been "huge" for her, the Fox Sports broadcaster had a bit of an eye-opening experience when she spoke with her doctor about a litany of health issues she'd been dealing with.
Between spending hours of her life on planes and traveling to wherever the NFL schedule may take her, "My eyes always felt a little gritty, a little rough," she detailed, describing how she found herself blinking a lot and straining to read whatever screen she was staring at. "I was just like, 'Is my vision off? What's going on?'"
Prescribed Miebo, an eye drop from Bausch + Lomb, her dry eye symptoms all but disappeared.
"I actually just don't feel my eyes," she explained. "Normally I'm rubbing my eyes, I'm blinking my eyes. They feel a little off or kind of sandpaper-ish. But you just don't notice them, which is great."
So, yes, her world looks a bit brighter these days.
She acknowledges that raising a toddler while criss-crossing the country is a tricky play. With Stoll working in player development for his former squad, the Los Angeles Kings, "We are both in season at the same time. It's a lot and you have to have help. And I'm not shy about saying that. And you have to make sure that help works with you and your family and your lifestyle."
But the WEAR by Erin Andrews founder truly knows she's winning when they're watching a Kings game, "And I just keep saying, 'That's Daddy! That's Daddy!'" she said. "He was looking, but who knows what he was looking at."
She just hopes he's absorbing a few of the Xs and Os she's been dispensing along with his morning breakfast.
"I'm telling him who I'm talking to that day and I'm just saying, you know, 'The Detroit Lions are running the ball really well, honey. We're going to have to see how the Dallas Cowboys can stop the run this week,'" she recalled. "That's his version of Sesame Street, I guess."
And though she still finds herself sweepin' a few clouds away, many sunny days lie ahead for her little fam. Keep reading and we'll tell you how to get how she and Stoll got to this place.
Cancer survivor Erin Andrews and her husband Jarret Stoll attended an event for the The Women's Cancer Research Fund.
The couple attended the Stagecoach Music Festival together back in 2017 where they enjoy their favorite genre of music, country.
The sports loving couple dressed up in black and white as they attended the 2014 ESPY Awards.
The good looking pair attended an clothing launch party together in 2014.
Just after Jarret took home his second Stanley Cup title with the Los Angeles Kings, Erin helped him celebrate as they held the large trophy in this pic.
The couple couldn't take their hands off each other at the Amazon Prime Summer Soiree in 2015.
The duo took their adorable puppy, Howard, to the beach in this shot Erin captioned, "#nationaldogday How How always has a straight arm."
Erin shared this adorable shot of her and her new fiancé after he proposed at Walt Disney World in 2016.
The pair matched in leather jackets and white t-shirts as they walked the red carpet at the Fanatics Super Bowl Party.
"June 24th was so perfect! Can we do it again next wkd?" Erin captioned this adorable shot of the newly married couple.
The couple rang in the holiday together in Big Sky, Montana, the location of their 2017 nuptials.
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